Final Project

I have to say that I was initially bummed out when I found out that each of us had to write about the topic we presented on. Writing about A.I., voice, or the banking system would have been easy for me, especially since I consider science fiction as my strong suit and those topics would lend well to sci-fi. With that said, I found writing a story about revision to be a nice challenge. Going into this topic I considered a number of ideas, most of them being wacky sci-fi or fantasy nonsense, but none seemed to stick. The next day I got the simple image of a father and son spending the day at a pond stuck in my head and so I decided to write a story about that. Basically, the protagonist is painting a picture of the pond while his son is throwing stones into the water. He reflects on how different his son’s childhood is from his own and eventually makes a minor revision to his painting that changes the theme of the entire work. I’m not sure if it fits the idea of revision with total clarity, but I entitled the story “Revision” to cover my back.

Moving on to the important stuff, I have somewhat of a knack for planning and organization. I could put together a table of contents and figure out a good order for our stories to be presented in (although that may be more of a group decision). Otherwise, I must admit that I don’t have many relevant talents outside of revision which I am guessing will be a group effort.

In any case, I’m sure we will work out most of the finer details tomorrow in class. I look forward to reading what everyone else has written and putting this whole thing together.

Growing Pains

Howdy, I’m really excited about our anthology on the stages of life. When I was reading Dr. Zamora’s notes I saw that we are able to write a poem. I just finished writing my stages of life poem and boy was that triggering. I decided to write about certain ages and points of my life that I struggled mentally. Which is the majority of my life. But there was a single point where I have attempted to end it completely and in the poem I discuss how it came to that decision, and why I decided not to make that decision.  I named the poem “ Growing Pains”, as I have suffered from severe knee pains since I was around 5 and it continues till this day. It is also the name of my unfinished poetry book that I started in 2020. Growing pains ecompasses all of the pain I have gone through in my life physically and mentally and how I have become the woman I am today. 

I start off every stanza with…

“Her knees are always aching,

Perhaps from age,

But also the constant torment 

of her consciousness.

She grows in pain,

To one day be without this aching

In her mind, in her heart, and most importantly

Her knees”

 

to distinguish what stage of life it is. 

Anyways…….you’ll see when you read it.

In the homestretch: Navigating the Final Phases of Our Final Group Project

For our final group project, we have all decided to go with writing an anthology based on the many stages of growth in life. In the anthology of our existence, our chapters will stand out as defining moments, each contributing to the rich narrative of our personal stories. One such chapter revolves around the profound experience of my sister’s car accident, a memoir that encapsulates the essence of unyielding faith amid times of uncertainty.

In the grand tapestry of life, uncertainty often takes center stage, demanding resilience and an unwavering belief that everything will unfold like it’s supposed to be. The story unfolds on a fateful night, October 24, 2021, under the sky with stars, and the world is quiet, unaware of the storm that is about to descend upon our lives.

My sister, Denise, finds herself at the center of a catastrophic car accident, an event that would reshape the course of my family’s narrative. As I drive to the scene, the world blurs into a surreal haze, reflecting the emotional turmoil. The hospital waiting room became a battleground of fear and anticipation, and as my parents arrived, the grim reality revealed that Denise was paralyzed from the neck down.

In the anthology of life, such moments stand as pivotal chapters, pushing us to grapple with the fragility of our existence and the unpredictable nature of destiny. The night of the accident transforms into a testament to the human spirit’s resilience. The city lights once blurred in the urgency of fear, now twinkle with a promise of a new beginning. The road ahead, though uncertain, stretches into a horizon of possibilities, echoing the sentiment that everything will unfold as it is supposed to be.

This story will be a moving chapter in our Stages of Growth anthology that mirrors the various stages we navigate, from the innocence of childhood to the complexities of adulthood. It stands as a testament to the importance of unyielding faith and growth during times of uncertainty, a guiding principle that becomes more profound as we move through the stages of life.

With just one week remaining in the semester, I’m excited for our upcoming Monday class, where we will share our contributions, exchange feedback, and discuss role assignments for the production of our anthology book/website. I’m interested in contributing to the creation of the table of contents page for our class anthology book or the layout of the website, which will serve as a platform to showcase all of our contributions.

See you all on Monday! (:

Where Do I Go?

I wish we had gone with somebody else’s project idea… not because I don’t like doing this one, but because I guess I feel an added weight with this given that it stemmed from some of my usual dissociative nonsense. I don’t want my classmates to be let down if they don’t find joy in this project, and while I know everybody was invited to speak up… I think back to my time as a subject matter expert in a fertility pharmacy, I was one of 3 people in my position, with 40-60 below us at any given time, and one direct supervisor above us. She would always end meetings with something along the lines of “Does anybody have any questions? I take silence as you all know what’s going on.” A couple of months into my role, I finally had to tell her “Taking silence as a good thing in this situation is an absolute mistake, everything is changing around our techs, and none of them have a clue. I don’t have a clue. I just don’t even know what to ask. I don’t think they do either.” This went over so well that I’d almost set the world record for the quickest demotion in history until she realized I was right. So, I guess I just hope everyone is on board with this for real…

I’m struggling to come up with a piece, because, well, I don’t know what it means to grow. I think growth is only recognized in hindsight and it’s easy to mistake with plain old change. Because change can be lateral or regressive, it’s hard for me to separate what fits in my eyes and what doesn’t. Man, I hate me right now haha. 

Alright, alright, no more self-depreciation for a minute. I want to answer some of the other questions for the week and see if maybe that will help me come up with something to write about.  Title… I think the title has to happen organically, the same way that the idea did. I like the idea of a title that reflects growth in it, growth, or time. One can’t exist without the other. I’d love for the title to just come from somebody’s piece, a line that sticks out to all of us, that reflects the collective. I know that some people would probably be quick to want to go the Amazon/ebook route with this or something, and I’ll do it if that’s what the group wants, but I’d almost rather it just be its own website or something. Selfishly, I can’t help but feel that this wouldn’t be a “right fit.” for my first publication credit, but I’ll do it if that’s what the group wants. I’m only hard on myself when it comes to that sort of thing and can be persuaded to shift formats easily enough. 

I think that the jobs I’m probably the most equipped to handle are the authors/bio page and or the editorial statement for the anthology. I know that these are probably the jobs that everyone wants, but I’ve taken enough art classes to know I’m better at writing than I am at working with visual mediums. Based on this blog, I imagine a few of you annoyed, because I’d certainly be saying “He can’t even come up with an idea for a story for the concept birthed from his bullshit and he wants to be in control of the editorial statement.” (Birthed from my Bullshit will now be the name of my memoir). While I understand that sentiment, the wavering I display comes from the fact that I tend to walk a mental tightrope. I try to negotiate my way to a balance that I can accept and live with while always poised to fall. If there is one thing I’m certain of though, it’s that I can negotiate an editorial statement that adequately reflects us. 

With that, I know I need to write something on “growing through displacement.” By my definition, I am homeless. I have a roof, a room, an excellent roommate, and now my roommate’s ridiculous dog. But, I don’t belong here, or anywhere else, and I’ve spent years searching for what that missing piece is that would make me stay or make me fit. One of my best friends, Little Michelle, is much younger than me, but also much wiser. She found her home in a husband and 3 beautiful children, where they live doesn’t matter, that bond matters, and I don’t allow myself anywhere close to that. Even acknowledging that clown as my friend feels weird. She tells me I need to settle down, I tell her I hate the idea of doing anything with the word settle in it. She tells me she wants me to be here next summer for her son’s birthday. I tell her I’ll try.

And I want to run. I walk into a room looking for an exit door. Hell, I leave the room almost every class without ever climbing out of my seat. I turn escape artistry into an art form, it’s such a good magicians trick that I’m not even sure where I go. So, I think the piece I need to work on for this project is one where I decide to stay, a piece blurring the line between fiction and reality, another negotiated tightrope walk.