My journey of being a ‘forever’ student.

I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in English-Writing this past May. It wasn’t long before I decided to pursue my MA, and even pursue it at the same institution where I did my undergrad. The seed was definitely planted, though. A little over a year ago, to be exact.

It was my second time joining Dr.Zamora’s Writers’ Retreat. The first time I met her, she reminded me of a forest fire (in the best way possible, of course). She was ignited by her studies, all the programs she ran (like MyFest), and just her baseline passion for the arts gleamed through her like a second pair of clothes. Nothing would put her out. This time around, three years later, she was calmer. A stern tree rooted by wisdom only grief can grant to someone. 

After we wrapped up workshopping what we’d been working on for those last three weeks, she told me about the MA opportunities here at Kean. Shamefully, I didn’t even know what an MA was. She expressed her enthusiasm for us to be able to continue working together. An opportunity that would pay for half, if not all, of my tuition. The thought of working with a woman like her felt enticing, for sure, but more so intimidating. Me? An undergrad nobody to work with a DOCTOR? 

Yeah, no way.

The Tide Changes

Still, I was flattered. I let some time go by and never revisited the proposition. I would’ve been satisfied enough to tell people that Dr. Mia Zamora wanted me in her program. 

“Engrave that on my tombstone. Here lies Alyssa Rivers, a student who was asked by a scholar, poet, doctor, wife, mother, friend, and sister, to work close alongside her.” My friends are used to my dramatics by now.

It wasn’t until last semester that another mentor of mine, Abrianna Jette, told me about the academic route she took. After her bachelor’s, she received her MA followed by her MFA ( a master’s in creative writing), and then her PHD to become the wonderful professor she is today. She explained the purpose of an MA and all the classes you can take:

I heard Racial and Ethnic Identities in Literature, Advanced Poetry, How to Teach Writing, graduate-level psychology courses, and there it happened: with some kindness and a few strawberry sour patches, the tide changed. I’ve never been more sure. I was going to pursue my Master’s.

One Week Into My Master’s Program

Poetry was my first love. I knew MFA programs like the back of my hand. MA was completely new to me. Why am I doing this? I knew I wanted to do this for myself, that I was on the route to becoming a professor, and not only because of my mentors; yet, I became speechless when someone would ask why. Why? 

If we took money and jobs out of the equation, would you choose to be in school? If so, why? My answer became simple: to learn and share. I am here to learn as much as I humanly can; I am here to share what I’ve learned as much as humanly possible. It is my passion. School just so happens to give me the routine, resources, and discipline to do so. It is why I went to China, on a whim, to study for four months and teach 1st graders English; it is why I got my 200-hour yoga teacher certification, with my first free community class coming up tomorrow.

My plan goes as follows: MA>MFA>>P.H.D. Obviously, whichever journey life permits and whatever comes between, because we have so little control of our destiny at the end of the day, but a baddie with 4 degrees? Sounds hot to me. 

What, like it’s hard?

“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones, and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.” 

Slyvia Plath

If I am so blessed with top-tier brain health well into my 70’s, I want to continue learning until I can no longer see, hear, taste, or smell. I want to teach until my breath crashes down like a tsunami after it reaches its climax. It is not possible to grasp all the shades, tones, and variations in this one life…it is still beautiful to try. Until then,

-Your forever student.